I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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