Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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