He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.