I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.