well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.