Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
