You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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