A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
