READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
