Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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