Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
