Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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