ya dads aren't the best wingmen
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.