woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
