NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
