I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
