if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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