I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize