At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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