when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize
