I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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