just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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