why didn't you poke me back
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
