ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
