He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
