i jhust puked up my retainher.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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