hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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