Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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