dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
