I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
