ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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