I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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