i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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