I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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