Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
