Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
