As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
