I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize