You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
