She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
