Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
