My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
only you would photoshop your dick
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
