There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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