That's when you crack a 10am beer
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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