I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
