If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
