apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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