I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
