Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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