Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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