I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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