Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize