Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
