after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I pour the whiskey from now on
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
