Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
