so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
What drink are we having for lunch?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
