it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
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you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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