Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
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