i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
